Tuesday Update!

Good morning!!! This is me, still smiling big, and my little bear who's been by my side :)

I just logged on again to give you guys another little update and I saw how many people have seen my blog so far...all I can say is WOW!!! I absolutely cannot believe how many people have been reaching out to me since my diagnosis and how much support I've received during this crazy, challenging time. Once again, all I can say is thank you, thank you, thank you. All of the messages and such I read give me more strength than you guys could ever know. Thank you also to all who have been reaching out to my family recently. Although  I don't know a whole lot of what's happening at home as I am focusing on getting better here at Loyola, I know that there have been so many friends and family helping my family to have what they need so that they can all be here for me. So again, although I know I say this over and over...thank you!

Now for an update! Sunday night and Monday were just kinda crappy. I knew going through chemotherapy wasn't always going to be easy when I signed up for it, and I was right. Thankfully I had my Daddy and Mommy to get me through the tough stuff, holding my hand and letting me cry. I've learned a lot that being strong and tough during cancer treatments doesn't mean always having a smile on. It means learning how to cope with the pain, learning how to get through it without giving up. I'm learning that going through chemo is a roller coaster: sometimes I feel fine and I'm laughing and watching movies with my family, but sometimes I feel really, really sick and I need to cry or sleep or just hold my parents' hands through those times. No matter how sick I feel sometimes, I know that my tears are tears of bravery. I am courageous enough to go through some really painful, tough stuff so that I can beat the nasty cancer in my body. And trust me, no matter how much it might hurt...I will never, never give up. I know that after the painful symptoms have made their way through, eventually I'll get to the top of the hill on that roller coaster again. 

I also wanted to answer some questions that I'm guessing a lot of people are asking. I know it's sometimes awkward to ask certain questions, so I decided to just put them out there! 

1. Am I going to lose my hair? The answer is, unfortunately, yes. If you've known me for a long enough period of time, you know that in middle school and high school the WORST threat my brother could make at me was cutting off all my hair! Yes, I love my hair and I wish I didn't have to part from it for a short time. However, my friend Emily who also has cancer has assured me many times that "bald is beautiful" and she is absolute proof of that phrase! I need to fight this cancer with everything I have, and if it means I'll get better, I'm totally up to losing my hair for a little bit. There are SO many cute scarves and hats out there, and I'm especially excited to get to rep my cubbies more often!! :) I am willing to do anything to beat the cancer inside me, including lose my hair for a short amount of time. Bald is beautiful!!!

2. Since my blood cell counts are low, what kind of rules does the hospital want my family and friends to follow? Basically what that means is that as the chemo is killing off the bad cancer cells, it also kills some of the good cells that my body uses to fight infection. If I catch something like a cold, my body may not be strong enough to fight it. The doctors want to make sure that all my family and friends know that if they come to visit, they NEED to be 100% well! As much as I want to give everyone I know a huge hug right now, if you have a cold or virus or even just a runny nose, it's better to call or skype me for the time being. Also, the doctor has told me that I can't have fresh flowers in my room, so although all my many secret admirers see this as their chance to give me a dozen roses ;) any flowers I get will have to be at the nurses station for me to come out and see when I can. I guess flowers and fresh fruit can harbor bacteria and other microorganisms that could possibly make me sick, so they're a no no for now...even if it's a bouquet from my prince charming. ;) They said that stuffed animals are fine as long as they are brand new and haven't been exposed to anyone who's sick.

3. Can I come visit? I absolutely LOVE getting to see everyone that I miss so dearly! However, those "down" parts of the roller coaster can come unexpectedly, and it's hard to have enough energy to talk and hang out when I'm not feeling good. The best thing to do is text/call me or my parents when you're thinking of visiting, and if it's a good time, plan to call again a few hours before you leave. Hopefully it'll be an "up" day, but if it's not, we can plan a time that would work better!

I am feeling pretty good this morning, so I am thinking that today is hopefully going to be an "up" day, or at least an "up" morning! I'll continue to keep you all updated on how things are going and I love you all very very much!!!

<3,

Sarah